How do I want to put this? Well, it's best to just confess my sins and get it over with. Rip off the band-aid, so to speak. Since my last post, my spirituality level has been next to nothing.
My altar was nice in the corner of my bedroom, the zafu I purchased to sit on not too far away. It's been collecting dust. My journal is still sitting on the bookshelf next to the half-read biography on Doreen Valiente. To its right is a book on Irish Mythology. In essence, I've been disconnected from all things spiritual for 3 months. This is not okay.
We all know that lulls like this happen, but that doesn't mean they are acceptable. Not honoring the altar and the items placed upon it may not be a direct smack to the Gods, but it's still pretty bad. I wish I could say it was just laziness, but I think it had more roots in ambivalence and questioning how I was going to fit everything into the day.
In an ideal situation, I'd have meditation time in the mornings and evenings. That's in addition to working full time, cooking for myself, going to art therapy appointments because those things are freaking useful, and visiting with friends and family. My life doesn't look like that now and I think I'm in a battle between wanting things to be that way even if they aren't necessary, and wanting to ball up in the fetal position and hide under a rock.
How sweet life is, eh?
I know that I could mull all of this over for three more months, journal about it intermittently, and tell myself I'm doing everything I can while pretending that I'm doing just that. Or, I could make a plan and stick to it. Part of the reason I'm sharing it is due to accountability.
These are my 3 spiritual rules for the time being:
1) Make weekly offerings to Lugh and Danu. Use this time to commune with them.
2) An oracle reading at least once a week, though daily is preferred.
3) Respecting myself enough to recognize that I'm a work in progress.
They sound so simple, right? I think that I can do these 3 things, and I'm sure I'll be back to post on my progress.
